Psychologic analysis of control needs :
What are we more than our vulnerability, our humanity or our animality?
In relation to the world, the human remains incredibly aroused because he is aware of its purpose, its weakness, of time passing. These are the limits of our power, that the confrontation with the harsh reality : we have enough intelligence to be aware of our insignificance. This self-awareness is paid by fear, sadness sometimes but she is also the mother of the creative genius, of the need to register in eternity, of protecting our children …
The easiest way that man has found to support this vulnerable self-awareness, is the control, it is effective in any case, the illusion of control; the need to exercise control over their immediate environment. For some, this need becomes devouring a hungry Bete that eats its own members.
Recent advances in neuroscience in the behavioral field allow us to study this report with the control , functioning as a water diving disorders with different levels.
For those who do not know yet my reading model, here is a very quick summary:
Everything the lake bottom, the reptilian territory that aim to protect us from danger by conditioned reflex, is the master of the keys. It has a very simple function: perceiving whether a situation is dangerous. When this is the case, it triggers an alarm signal, stress, and we have the choice between three stereotyped reflexes: escape, attack or play dead.
Between two waters, the territory paléolimbique is to regulate the level of power and instinctive confidence in the group. Man is a social animal, some implicit rules dictate his rights and duties is the herd instinct. Thus, we are positioned at the intersection of two axes: the axis of confidence with few dominant, assertive and submissive; and the axis of trust in the group, with axial, assertive and untrusting. All combinations are possible.
Approaching the surface, neo-limbic territory is the seat of learning, emotions and personality: the decision-making center by default. All as good or bad in part. It is the place of conscious motivations, values and fears. Here we will find what we like to do and what we unbearable.
Finally, on the surface, the prefrontal area, which analyzes the facts. Detached value judgments and primary instincts. Its uniqueness lies in its basic structure: the neurons are well establish more connections than in the lower areas. In constant motion, is an information management center, but it rarely stores nothing and take the decisions, unless we help them a little bit …
To study in detail the report of the man with the notion of control, we will see the different possible positions on each level. Thus, everyone can realize his inner conflicts and why not come to some sort of consensus and relative peace.
The reptilian territory and control
Stress is a physiological response to danger , a defense that allows us to mobilize forces to rapidly increase security. Ideally, we’d use stereotypical reactions of stress only when we face a real threat. But in reality, things do not happen like that…
In nature, primitive man was on the guards, he had neither fangs nor claws and physical weakness that has made the human being very reactive. He needed a multitude of successes to survive and one failure could be fatal. Time passes, the man became sedentary and vulnerability pushes to strengthen its security. Today, men have erected society that protect their lives, but the reptilian territory remains on the lookout, biology evolves more slowly than technology.
Now it is the perception of the danger which usually creates stress and not the danger itself.
Stress occurs when we are in situations of lack of control or unpredictability; frustration; novelty or high stakes and finally ego threatened. Suffice to say that stress triggers are numerous in our lives.
When stress signal is activated, we have three stereotypical reactions, flight, fight and inhibition. These three reactions are systematically successive, that is to say that a mammal begins with the leak. If it is impossible or that other components of the personality tend to promote the fight, the individual will quickly go from flight to fight. If it is a failure or that the individual lack of resources in the broad sense, it will then go into inhibition. However, although these three are reflexes time, there is always one which we prefer.
The leak and control:
The leak is characterized by the idea: « I’m out! « I ‘m confused, the heart beats faster, the blood flow in the legs, which increases the feeling confused because the brain is less irrigated. The individual does not know what to do, a whole lot of ideas are running through his head: « Should I do this? No ! It? … And if, yes, but … »
I understand nothing and i know nothing. Everything appears strange and threatening, looking for reliable haunts but I found nothing. I feel lost and disoriented, I need to exercise my power over the environment to calm this fear. Regain control is the easiest way to calm my fear, even if this feeling is an illusion…
The fight and control:
The fight is characterized by the idea: « I break! « The ideas are clear: » I will fight as much as necessary! « The heart beats faster and the blood flow towards the shoulders and jaw. The look is right, anger is there, explosive and carrying a destructive force.
What happens is unacceptable and I’ll stop it, although in costs. It’s my decision and I choose that this must stop immediately and that person has to pay for his fault. I exercise my wrath and I prove that I exist. My revolt is irrational but it’s not my problem. Thanks to her, I have the sensation of being the only master of my life.
The inhibition and control:
The inhibition is characterized by the idea: « I am broken »: I have no idea, it’s the mental blackout, « I am nailed to the floor, face against earth » The heart beats slowly, I have no energy, I’m tired and desperate.
I no longer controls anything at all because I have no strength, come with me what will, I lost the battle.
The paleolimbique territory and control
Man is a social mammal and, to regulate its relationship with the group and with the world, it has its herd instinct. This instinct is to create two separate positions. The first creates a natural hierarchy within the group so that each occupies a legitimate and necessary place in the functioning of the community. There are dominant, the submited and assertive. The second defines a relationship to the world in the perception of danger and risk. We will find suspicious, axial and assertive.
The gregarious positioning is both fixed and relative, fixed as it does not move after 20 years, and relative because we are always submited or dominant over another or a situation. Between two dominant for example, roles will alternate.
Operation of this gregarious instinct predisposes the individual so completely irrational to report to the particular control.
The submited and control
A person who has the bid has difficulty feeling secure. His need for control is responsive to a deep anxiety: that fail to protect , to be vulnerable. Someone into submission is not necessarily lower than another in dominance, it has only the purely instinctive feeling, rightly or wrongly. Control the environment becomes a way to manage this feeling of vulnerability and to increase safety. I remember a phrase I heard often in my childhood: « to be afraid that nothing happens to you, it may not get you anything » is true a little bit of that idea.
The dominant and control
The ratio is the dominant control is both ambivalent and delicate: a check is due, the obvious, a basic premise: the dominant instinctive exercise its rights on the environment and it assumes the submission of the world has its desires, which is not always the case in real life and generates big frustrations. When the dominant control is unsatiated, it can lose control of himself. It can deny the fact , the dominant is the champion of bad faith, denial is then an escape response to this reality that eludes him and stress. Or he can go fight in trying to submit another or the situation to his desire. The energy he then put in his need for control is huge, as far as motivation is desperate. He may also feel discouraged and drained of all desire is inhibition.
The suspicious and control
The suspicious will exercise control through observation and preparation. He has no confidence in the world that generally perceives as hostile. To control his environment, it will be always on the alert, very receptive to external signs. He tests, he reflects, he prepares, he hesitates. To manage its perception of danger, he wants to equip a maximum. He’s oriented to wherewithal, it maximizes. He tends to forget that « the best is often the enemy of good » and sometimes misses great opportunities.
The axial and control
The report to the axial control is very convoluted. In absolute terms, it does not need to exercise its power to feel serene, yet it is not far behind. Axial has the feel of control events just by thinking. He feels connected to others and the world and as such, he thinks simply want to get. It obviously will live great disappointment and does not understand how this could have happened. Life sometimes gives her harsh lessons but it nevertheless retains a relaxed relationship with the need for control.
To be continued….